Hanging by a Moment
by stardust rain
Summary: When the present is in doubt, the past becomes a wish for the future. Dee x Ryo, Complete
1. Prologue

A/N: this is my first multi-chapter story for since a while, and the updates might not be very regular. So don't kill me okay?

Summary: A parting. Shattered hearts. A reunion. The cost. After spending three years apart, Dee and Ryo have to get used to the changes in the other when they meet again. 

Disclaimer: this applies for all the chapters. The song in the beginning belongs to Nickleback. FAKE is the property of Sanami Matoh-sensei. 

**Hanging by a moment: Prologue**

_"How the hell did we wind up like this   
Why weren't we able   
To see the signs that we missed   
And try to turn the tables   
  
I wish you'd unclench your fists   
And unpack your suitcase   
Lately there's been too much of this   
Don't think its too late"   
  
 -- Nickleback, Someday_

*__

I watched him as long as I could. He was slowly making his way into the crowd, trying not to look back, blending in until I can't spot him anymore. If I blink he'll be gone, but I keep staring I'll cry. This was the end. I was loosing grip on Ryo, losing grip on everything. The little nuts and bolts that seemed to hold my life together was falling away. I was collapsing, my life was collapsing. God damn it. God damn that witness protection agency. 

He was going away, leaving to some other state where he can be 'safer', just because he witnessed a murder. It's not true. He knows it, I know it. He only feels safe in my arms, he had said that before. But maybe he lied, or maybe I'm the one lying to myself, but whichever way round it doesn't matter anymore. He's gone. And he's not coming back again.   

* 

Everyone at the precinct is trying to be nice, offering me shoulders to cry on and all that. It's not exactly breaking news that Ryo and I are together, but some are still getting used to it. I don't need their sympathetic smiles, their make-believe happy atmosphere, and their nothing-had-happened act. It's fake, all of it, just a matter of time before reality collapses on their heads. And it makes me sick. Hey it's not like he's dead or anything he's just…gone.    

*

The apartment is lifeless without him. It's empty; I'm empty, as if all feeling had been sucked out of me. I collapse on to the sofa and stare up at the ceiling. There are so many things I wanted to say, wanted him to hear, but never got round to telling him. I feel drained, as if someone has pulled a plug and everything just disappeared. I'm tired but the apartment wont let me rest, it holds too many memories, too many lost hopes, filling my head, choking me. 

After a while I get something close to sleep, but even the dreams are blank. The sheets are no longer crisp, old washing lies in the laundry basket, and I can cry no more.  

The shadows that had been gathering in the corners are growing.

TBC…

A/N: yeah, I know it sucks, don't rub it in, thanks. It's been quite awhile since I updated something, and it'll be quite while until I update again, so I suggest you take this as it is. This is probably going to be three to six chapters long, and have somewhere around four to five thousand words. I'm gonna try my best to reply to every reviewer. I'm also looking for someone to beta this story. If you think you can then send me an e-mail. Also I know that the first part I very confusing. Well that's the last part of the epilogue, which will be up in a week or so. So keep reading this!! The first chapter is already finished so expect it up soon.  

Next chapter: the extinguished candle…


	2. the Extinguished Candle

Disclaimer: you know the drill.    

A/N: words in _italics_ are thoughts.

**Hanging by a moment: Chapter 1**

_The extinguished candle_

*

Three years have passed since the incident.

He kept many objects around the house to remind himself of the past, no matter how far away it seemed. An odd picture from his previous apartment, the old furniture he never had the heart to dispose of. And the old shirt he had taken from his ex-lover when they parted ways.   

Time had come and healed some of the too many scars on his heart, but it had still left many unblemished and untouched. The dreams, the wishes that were once full of life and desire had faded when he started this life, his new life.

The bed sheets still distantly held the smell of his ex-lover, a mere lonely memory that was left in the back of his head. It was fading. Everything was fading; the old regrets and hopes were stilled and neutralized now, alongside the too many tears he had forgotten to cry. The fantasies of an impossible meeting with his past love left elapsed and buried under the many empty pizza boxes and cigarette stubs that littered his home. Lovers came went, each lasting no more than a week at the most. All the girls he had brought home, all those he had bailed and banged on were the same to him. Airheads. Bimbos. Nothing else, nothing compared to his Ryo. This life compared to the last one was not much different, except there was more pain, more broken hearts. 

*

It was a mere coincidence that he was in New Orleans this week. Just weeks before his summer vacation, a friend of his had fallen ill, and by the looks of it the poor guy wasn't going anywhere too soon. He had come to help him get some things done, buy some groceries, and stuff like that. Tomorrow he was leaving for New York again. He turned a corner just as a speeding police rushed past, dodging cars around cars, with the siren wailing loudly. And that driver was…

He blinked; it had probably been his imagination. He had hoped too many times that every time he went to a new state, he'd meet Ryo again only to get disappointed again afterwards. When he looked again the car had gone. 

Luckily for him the crime scene was only a few blocks away. He had arrived in good time; the investigation had come to an end, CSI vans were standing outside the bombed out building that appeared to be a café and police cars were starting to draw back. And standing in middle, a few feet behind the orange and yellow bands was…

Oh…God. 

Ryo's light hair was shining brightly in the afternoon sun. He had his back turned but Dee was certain it was him, just judging by his voice. He hadn't changed much the last three years, a little thinner maybe but otherwise he was the same person. That body, those eyes; everything reminded him so much of past. 

It was fate, he thought. Or maybe it was a joke some idiot decided to play on him. Either way he should have seen it coming. 

Ducking under the band he sneaked across the concrete rubble, trying to go unnoticed. 

"You're not allowed here, sir"

Damn it.

"Sorry?"

"I said you're not allowed in this territory. Please leave immediately." 

"Anything wrong back here, Larry?" 

 Ryo's voice made him freeze on the spot. He could have sworn he felt his heart stop dead right there and then. He turned away, for some reason he didn't want Ryo to see him right now. 

"Not much, chief. I found this man trespassing the investigation grounds. And he won't leave."

_Goddamned liar_

"Leave this to me. Take the stuff we found back to the lab, okay?"

"Yes, sir." 

He turned his attention back to Dee as Larry walked off. "According to our rules, you're not allowed to interfere with police investigation while were at it.," his voice was strict and firm, as if talking to a misbehaving child. "I'm only saying this once: please leave the grounds right now". 

"We'll I'm not someone who usually follows rules" Dee replied, slowly turning around. "But you already knew that didn't you?" 

There was a loud clatter of metal on stone as Ryo's gun dropped on the ground.

"Holy Christ" he breathed "Dee…?"

*

End chapter 1

TBC

A/N: AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahem. I was mean enough to end with a cliffie, but hey that's me. I hope I don't make Ryo or Dee too OOC in this, cos I'm trying really hard not to. 

Next chapter: the glass box

Review replies:

**Hanna**: ha ha, thanks ^_^

**Miss Kitty**: heh heh, you'll see

**XZanayu**: *bow*

**The random queen**: yes I like that song too.


	3. the Glass Box

Disclaimer: I don't own them, yadda yadda yadda, don't rub it in and I'll be grateful for life.

**Hanging by a moment: Chapter 2**

_The glass box_

_"Well I hoped that since we're here anyway, _

_We could end up saying,   
Things we've always needed to say"   
  
_

*__

"Long time no see, eh, partner?" Dee smirked.

Black eyes widened and locked with green as Ryo stared at the man in front of him.

"You took your time, Dee Laytner," Ryo said after a short while. "Berkley had warned me that you'd probably turn the whole of USA upside down looking."

A smile. "I know"

A pause. Then,

"I missed you" 

Dee edged closer so that their bodies were almost touching. Another smile formed on his face, and this time the green orbs had regained their spark.

"I missed you too."

The two of them stood silently, wordlessly, expressionless, each regarding with care that neither showed too much of their feelings. The shadows that they chased away, the dreams that had expired all slowly came back, breaking through barriers, pushing away the reality. All noise around them was blurred; to them it was so quiet that they could hear the other's heartbeats. They stood there registering the changes in the other, as minutes, hours, passed trying to ignore the odd feeling of nostalgia tugging at their heartstrings. Both knew the truth; they just together for one more second, one more heartbeat, before going back to their previous lives again. Just two lovers sharing one last dance together.  

"Is everything all right, sir?"

"Huh, what?" Ryo snapped out of his thoughts and spun around. Larry was standing there, looking awkward and slightly worried. He swallowed. "Yeah, everything's fine. Look, tell everyone else to go back to the station and not to wait for me. I, uh, have some business to attend to"

"Will do, sir"

*

Their footsteps seemed unusually noisy in the quiet streets. They went back to Dee's hotel, each walking silently, just regarding the other's presence. No words were spoken, but then again no words were needed. The time they wasted whispered promises to each other during the nights, those things they said that had all gone to waste. What did words matter now when they're together again?

The air inside the hotel room was heavy and tense. Both were feeling awkward, both nervous, they avoided eye contact, neither looked at the other.

"So, here we are" Dee finally said.

Again that smile, again that look in his eyes.

"Yes," Ryo replied. "Here we are again."

Another pause. Another silence. 

"So, er, how've you been?" Ryo asked awkwardly.

A snort. "What do you think?" Dee stretched across the bed. "Still the same old life as always. What about you? Anyone else special in your new life" 

Ryo glanced at him. The glint in Dee's eyes was unavoidable, and he was grinning like Cheshire cat.

"Well…" Ryo paused. Should he tell him? "I have a fiancé."

*

End chapter 2

Next chapter: the closed curtains

Replies:

The Random Queen:  I think this is the point where I say 'oh, sh*t'. Erm…well he doesn't have kids, if that helps. Don't worry I'm not being mean to you on purpose, the plot was planned out ages ago. You have every right to kill me for doing this. Should I start running now? *Takes shield and backs away slowly*   

Skyface & dyva: well being mean is one of my tactics. *Evil laugh* 

Coles'sLover: thanks, and of course I'll keep posting. I like Dee and Ryo as well

Canda: glad you like it ^_^.

Sweet Sakura Curls: here's the next chappie!

Megamie: I hate it when computers act up. I'm glad you came you came back to leave a review though!

XZanayu: there's gonna be more cliffies coming! 

Mighty priestess: well as you see, there won't be one.


	4. the Closed Curtains

**Hanging by a Moment: Chapter 3**

_The closed curtains_

_"Now the story's played out like this,   
Just like a paperback novel,   
Let's rewrite an ending that fits   
Instead of a __Hollywood__ horror"_

* 

The silence that filled the air was thick and swirling, like smoke it filled his lungs sucking out all air, choking him, strangling him. His world was broken beyond repairing, dreams were different from reality, as he realized now. 

"You have…a fiancé?" he said in hollow voice.

"I'm sorry Dee."

He sunk onto the bed avoiding eye contact; he didn't know how he would react if they looked at each other right now. 

"But…why?" he asked. 

"I fell in love with her, is that enough for an excuse?"

"Her…?" Dee's voice was hardly above a whisper, but he could still hear that it was full of confusion. Ryo glanced quickly at his former partner, as if trying to get some kind of answer out of his silence.

"You can't do this…" he mumbled after a while

"And why not?" Ryo's voice was harder this time, more guarded. 

"Because you moron, you're homosexual!"  Dee snapped. 

"That's hardly an argument" Ryo replied coldly. 

"Ryo, you can't go through with this. In the end you'll just end up getting hurt."

He turned away. 

"I…it's just the way it is, Dee. Accept it."  

"Accept it?" Dee repeated, suddenly furious. "_Accept it_? Have any idea how many days, how many _hours_, I've waited to I'll see you again? Have you any idea how many times I've prayed to the gods or demons, or whatever that's up there, that you'll come back? You're engaged, and you're telling me to _accept it_?" 

 "I'm sorry," Ryo repeated. 

A pair of hands suddenly grabbed his shirt flinging him down on the bed on his back. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, Dee hands were pushed down on his shoulders, green eyes boring heavily into black ones. They were full of anger, a wild storm growing out at sea. 

"I don't plan on sharing you with anyone, Ryo" he whispered. "It's either all of you or none of you, d'you hear? I'm not a sharing type of person." 

He bent lower, claiming the other man's lips with his. The world seemed to have stopped turning, reality was on standstill. Ryo closed his eyes and they weren't in the hotel room anymore, but together in their own world, another world, where there is nothing, no-one to stop them. Everything seemed to be like before, as if someone has sent them back in time. 

This is wasn't what he had wished for, the sweet taste of cigarettes and peppermint, the cheap scent of lust and yearning, a shortcut to run away from the present. It wasn't fate, just reality playing a cruel joke on them. 

Finally after several minutes of silence he finally broke the kiss. He looked away, feeling suddenly guilty. There was something in those green eyes that was eating him alive. 

"Look Dee," he paused, uncertain of where to start. "We can't go back to where we were, I have a new life now." He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued. "Just forget everything that ever happened."

"Like hell that'll ever happen"

Another silence filled the room. 

"When are you going back?" Ryo asked after a while.

"Plane goes in forty minutes."

"I see."

They walked to the train station in silence. Neither had anything to say anymore, they were just spending the last precious few minutes together. Everything was clear now, no more secrets, no more lies, all that needed to be said had already been spoken. Their last dance had ended. 

"I guess this is goodbye then," Dee said at the platform. 

Ryo smiled, pulling him into a hug.

"Goodbye, Dee" 

He breathed his scent one last time, before letting go. He turned, feeling Ryo's dark eyes boring a hole into the back of his neck. Ignoring the ache in his heart he stepped into the train.

*

End chapter 3

A/N: I'm sorry for the late update everyone. My internet was dead so I couldn't upload. I didn't bother replying to the reviewers either, but I will in the next chappie.  It's almost finished now, so watch out for the final part coming sometime this week. The raising will be raised from PG to PG-13 or even R due to lime (smile minna!).  


	5. Epilogue

A/N: This chapter is leaning strongly towards an R for a reason. Don't wanna read? You're not gonna miss much (except for a happy ending of course). Oh and I've removed the flash forward, cos it doesn't really make sense. 

Replies for chap 3

The random Queen: this IS a D/R fic. It's just not that…clear that's all. 

Hybird rainbow: you I kinda feel sorry for Dee as well…now that you mention it. 

Duct tape: well Dee and Ryo WILL end up together in this chapter. I swear. 

Nittle Grasper Wonder: I'm really that kind of writer who usually kills of my characters cos everyone hates him/her. But still I son't mention Ryo's fiancé a lot so. 

AISH a.k.a Kitty in the Box: oi…chotto…calm down, ne? 

Replies for chap 4: 

Miss Dr. Feelgood: and the happy ending is in sight! I think I mentioned in the prologue that Ryo got sent away in a Witness Protection Program. 

Ragnarokskurai: he does these things cos I make him!! AHAHAAHAH!! 

Magegirl: it's sad, but then again all my stories are sad. I don' think I'll be bringing in Ryo's fiancé in the story, she just one of those odd characters that somehow holds the plot together but doesn't do anything, plays a big part but plays a small part. Glad you like the story!

AISH a.k.a Kitty in the Box: yep, surprisingly enough he chooses that over Dee. 

XZanayu: a lot of people say that. I suppose I wanted Dee to suffer a little. Heheh. 

Nittle Grasper Wonder: I think this chappie will make you happy. 

Miss Kitty: ah yes, the way we like it…

**Hanging by a Moment: Epilogue**

****

These days you are waiting. 

The phone never rings; the air stands still. Used dishes lie in the sink, the living room grows dark after sunset. The curtains are always closed, the bulb is burned out, the wishes are fragile, the hopes breakable. Everything is dead without him. He called two days ago, asking how you were, saying that he might drop by since he was nearby anyway. The happiness you felt then, the joy. You never believed fate, but this time it was more than just a coincidence.  

The doorbell echoes through your empty house and you spend your last seconds gathering your clothes and putting away old pictures. Your eyes pause on the old picture of you and your wife. Taken two years ago, it still never seemed to get old. The marriage had lasted barely over a month after she had found out about Dee. Bikky had never had faith in it, though he never said anything, but you also secretly believed that it would never last. Another pling of the doorbell pulls you to your senses. You invite him in, and start taking out cups and makes some coffee. He watches you all the time, eyes boring a hole into you. 

"What?" you ask after a while. He grins at you, but stays silent, the green eyes still fixed at the same place. His arms come around your waist, his breath hot on your neck, lips finding their way up your shoulder to your lips. The kiss tastes the same as ever, a perfect mix of cigarettes and mint, of him and of you, of the past and what's been. Eager hands pull away the collar of you shirt, undoing button after button with impatience.  

The two of you stumble into the bedroom tripping slightly over the mat. Clothes flutter to the floor, the mattress creaks as you fall onto it. No words are spoken, but then again no words are needed. His lips burn on yours, your arms wrapped around his neck, a groan, a whisper, a gasp, and it's all over. 

The air smells of salt and the sheet are soaked with sweat. Silence echoes through the house, the afternoon light is shining dimly from the windows. 

"Stay here," you whisper. "Stay with me" 

He smiles, pulls you closer to him and buries his face into your neck. But he doesn't say anything in reply. His breath tickles you hair, his fingers tracing shapeless forms over you stomach, wandering their familiar route from many years ago. 

*

_"How the hell did we wind up like this   
Why weren't we able   
To see the signs that we missed   
And try to turn the tables   
Now the story's played out like this   
Just like a paperback novel   
Lets rewrite an ending that fits   
Instead of a Hollywood horror   
  
Nothing's wrong   
just as long as   
you know that someday I will   
  
Someday, somehow   
gonna make it alright but not right now   
I know you're wondering when   
(You're the only one who knows that)   
Someday, somehow   
gonna make it alright but not right now   
I know you're wondering when"   
  
_

OWARI 

A/N: I know that Dee's really OCC in this chappie, but he's supposed to be. He's supposed to have changed.

I'll post an author's note in a few days tine to reply to this chapter's reviews, and I'll also be thanking everyone. Anyone want to write the lemon scene for me? I can't write lemons so I'd really, really appreciate it. Just send it to my e-mail in my profile page. If you can't, or don't want to, use second tense, I'm not asking you to. Use any tense you want!!  
  



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